What the hell. I had the weirdest dream last night. It was likely brought on by a whole list of current anxieties: study, school, money, friends, etc. The interesting thing is, I was the one who was in control for the most part, unlike several dreams where I'm led around by others through myriad scenes and plagued by the ever-present need to use the restroom. Those dreams, I figure, have mostly biological roots, but this one was different.
It was in a big room with white walls. The whole room of people, young and old, mostly white, though there were a few black faces, were all sitting in school desks, mostly talking and having a good time. Some of the people were moving around talking to others. In the dream I was not one of them, apparently, and I insisted they all quiet down. When they didn't listen immediately, I told every one of them that they had to observe a period of five minutes where they neither moved from their seats or spoke, a punishment known to every teacher or parent as a 'time-out'. If they moved or spoke, I told them, they would have to sit quietly for another five minutes.
Strangely enough, everyone of them, young and old, black and white, made contrite faces and took there seats quietly - except for one. An old scholarly-looking man, with round eyeglasses in a very Victorian-esque suit and pants had the gall to ignore my order. He got up partially from his seat and proceeded to ask me a question about his homework. I looked at the paper he offered me, then shook my head and said 'nope', refusing to help.
That's when I woke up. As I've said before I've had dreams like this in the past, but they usually end with me waking up in a cold sweat and needing urgently to use the toilet. This time, though, there was no sweat and no urge, but I felt very full of nervous energy. Awake, I started to think about all of the things that were bothering me, and I slowly began to calm myself as I rationalized my fears and worries. At the same time, I felt keenly aware of everything around me, every scrape and sound, every beat of my pulse, the movement of my lungs as they moved up and down. As I sat with my eyes closed, scary visions came and went, and I did my best just to accept them as leftover anxieties from days of stress. At one point the visions became so unsettling that I opened my eyes and began to concentrate instead on the dark corners of the bedroom, allowing my eyes to adjust so that I could see into every corner.
As I rolled over to give my wife a kiss, she gave me a half-awake smile and our little bird, sitting wrapped up near the bed, began what we refer to as his 'night peeps', small chirps that he only makes when it's dark. After about an hour of sleeplessness my worries finally dissolved and I was able to get some rest.
Is there anyone out there who has had dreams like this? How about interpretations? I have one of my own, but it's always fun to hear other people's ideas. For now, I'm going to just keep plugging away at my work and finish my books, hopefully still having plenty of time to speak Chinese.
Dear Mike, so sorry I missed this last year...I was up to my ears in my own anxieties and worries. Very interesting central character. Realize that some dream interpreters would say that all protagonists and antagonists are actually elements of you, yourself. Would love to see the final analysis you made on awakening. Especially fascinating was your description of what resulted AFTER the dream. Even Pan was involved. This dream also ties in with your newest, long awaited post and Hannah comment on the moment...and wordlessness.
Posted by: Mama II | August 23, 2010 at 04:37 PM